Light Within You
by MapleSunflower1230
Summary: <html><head></head>Alfred and Ivan don't always get along. More so since the big fight their freshman year. Now as seniors, they have been assigned to work on a project together. But when secrets about them come out about Alfred's self harm and Ivan being abused at home, they begin to get closer and closer.</html>


This is the new story! RusAme human AU as promised.

OoooooO

"You said you'd be here." Alfred grimaced at the tone of voice. Ivan wasn't one to forget these kinds of things, times being one if them. The seventeen year old was good at remembering even the slightest details, while Alfred could barely remember a pencil. Which didn't usually work out for him. Stupid math teacher.

"I know, I know. I'm running a bit late. Sue me." The American was lucky that he was on the Russians good side, as he didn't really want to be on his bad side.

They had been chosen to create a presentation for their fourth period World History class, and it was due in a week. They got to pick which historical event they wanted, but there was no doubt to anyone that their teacher could not have picked a worse pair. Though they got along, there was an intensity that clouded over whenever they were around each other. Alfred didn't hate Ivan, He just didn't necessarily like him. It was a feeling he'd had since the big fight they had freshman year. It lasted until they were juniors, doing anything possible to bother the other. Finally, at the constant begging of their siblings, they had called a truce. The fight had been over something stupid. A girl that Alfred liked, but was also Ivan's younger sister. The Russian was notorious for being protective of the ones close to him, and his sisters were on the top of the list. So when the Russian had caught him and Natalia making out after a football game, he had been less than pleased. In fact, Alfred's nose wasn't straight anymore.

After that, Alfred and Ivan would bicker and agitate each other to no end. Until their siblings begged them to stop. Which led to this moment. He was now at the front step of the house holding Ivan, and trying his hardest not to turn and leave.

"Alfred?"

"Yeah yeah I'm here. Open the door for me." He hung up, waiting to hear the click of the lock signifying that he was here for good. Well, until dinner anyway.

For the first time he began to feel a bit nervous. What if he

The door opened slowly, creaking slightly, and revealing Ivan Braginsky. He was as tall as ever, almost touching the top of the door frame, and built like a tank. Alfred didn't doubt that the Russian could beat him to a pulp if he wanted to. Which is why when the larger boy smiled at him, he had to stop himself from gasping in shock.

"That's new."

"Well I figured I would be nice. You are a guest of mine, after all. I don't see it as a big deal." Alfred noticed that Ivan's accent was thicker today. That and he seemed to be favoring his left leg over the right.

"Are you in pain or something? You're different today."

"I fell. It's nothing really. Now are you coming in or not?" The Russian stepped aside and Alfred stepped past him into the foyer. "You can keep your shoes on if you like. I figured we could go out to the garden to study. It will be much calmer out there than in here."

Alfred once again was surprised. He didn't really take Ivan as the type to study outside. He was almost always in the library at school, looking at books or researching on a computer, and he often grumbled about the ever changing weather in the sleepy Michigan town they lived in. Monroe often got big storms due to the proximity to Lake Erie.

"Yeah that sounds good. Do you have any ideas for our event? I thought maybe if it were something that related to us it would come easier."

"We should study the Cold War then." Ivan grinned wickedly at Alfred, who was grinning back. It was a good sign for them to be joking about the fight, rather than holding a grudge because of it.

"I'm for it. That's a big event though. Lots of work." The Russian cocked his head to the side. Then, while motioning for Alfred to follow him, started to explain options they could take.

"Work load will be even for both of us... The teacher said to research our event, create a presentation and both partners have to write their own essay on the event. I suppose the presentation will be the easiest part of this, we can split up the slides evenly. Research can also be split. You could look for information on how things changed in The United States while I focus on Russia and the rest of the Soviet Union?" Alfred nodded absently, noticing how Ivan tried to hide his limp. He was definitely hurt, but the American didn't want to pry.

"That sounds good to me. I brought my laptop so I can start on the research today. You can use it to if you want." Ivan nodded, coming to a halt in front of what Alfred would assume was the way to the garden.

"Katyusha might be out here reading. You won't mind that will you?"

"Of course not! Kat and me are good friends, you know. Besides, maybe she knows some stuff we could use. She is in college after all."

"Да. I suppose you are right. Alright, let's go then." The door was opened, and they both stepped into the warm sunlight. The backyard wasn't anything huge, but it was big enough for a impressive garden filled with all sorts of flowers. The most prominent were the sunflowers. They were almost as tall as Ivan, and in full bloom, reaching towards the sun. Bees buzzed around the garden, carefully selecting which flowers they visited.

"This is amazing, Ivan. I've never seen so many different flowers in one place before. And the sunflowers look so nice here." Ivan smiled.

"I made sure of that. I've been taking care of them. The weather makes it a bit difficult sometimes."

"You planted them?"

"They are my favorite. I've been growing them since I was young. Even in Russia. I find it relaxing to work out here sometimes. It allows me to lose myself for a while." Alfred once again was distracted by Ivan's slight limp. He fell? And did that? He could see it happening in the winter with ice and such but it was September.

"Are you sure you're okay? I mean, I'm not saying it's nothing you can't handle but- well... Nevermind." Alfred walked on ahead to the picnic table in front of them, plopping down on one of the bench seats.

"I will be fine. If I keep moving on it I should be able to walk it off. You don't have to worry about me." Nodding, Alfred set down his bag and moved to retrieve his laptop and textbook. He noticed that Ivan seemed to be watching him curiously, but he couldn't guess why he would be so interesting. But hey, that Russian was kinda creepy and had habits that weirded most people out. This might've been one of them.

"I thought that when someone watches people they do it from a reasonable distance?" Alfred said quietly, sitting back up to put his materials on the table.

"Well I stick to watching since no one ever comes up to say hello." Alfred heard the hidden pain behind the statement. It was true that most stayed away from him due to his size and where he was from. They were also scared of his Grandfather. The old man was notorious for his cruelty and had even been given the name Winter because of his cold stare.

"I didn't mean for you to hear that. Anyways, it wasn't meant to be offensive."

"I didn't take it that way. If I did, you would definitely know, comrade."

"I sure did all those years ago. I'll have you know that your punch hurt like a bitch."

"As it was intended to. Although I hadn't planned on breaking your nose. That was simply a pleasant surprise." Alfred stuck out his tongue, opening his laptop and turning it on.

"I'm going to need a wifi password if you have one." After getting it, Alfred wasted no time starting research. He went over all the aspects of what the American point of view was. The fear of communism in the US, blacklisting suspected communists... It was crazy that people could be violated like that. Didn't it say in the constitution that you could be a part of whatever organization you wanted? It made his brain hurt to think about. Rights violated because of fear. Nice.

Alfred must've yawned because Ivan asked if he wanted to take a break. He declined and said that he didn't mind if the Russian did. He was too engrossed in his findings that he didn't notice the slight tremble in the other boys voice. Then someone yelled loudly in Russian. Alfred didn't know the language but Ivan had taught him a few swear words when they were both younger. And whoever was yelling had used quite a bit. He lazily looked over to see old man Winter standing in the doorway to the house, glaring at him and Ivan.

"Shit." He hissed, Ivan gave him a side glance before calling back in his native tongue as well. After giving Alfred another look over, the old man turned and went back in the house, slamming the door.

"He forgot you were coming over today. Just a misunderstanding."

"With that much profanity? What crawled up his ass?" The boy hushed him.

"Don't say such things so loud. I have no doubt in my mind that he is listening." Alfred noticed the tremble this time.

"Ivan are you okay-"

"I am fine. It just would not be in your best interest to make him angry."

"Alright... So how much information did you get so far?" The Russian held up two papers covered in notes on the front and the back.

"My writing is a bit hard to read." Alfred shook his head.

"I can read it just fine. You actually have neat hand writing. Can I ask a personal question?"

"I guess."

"How long have you lived with your Grandfather?" The Russian visibly tensed.

"Well I've lived with him as long as I've lived here. You see, my parents died when I was very young. He isn't my biological relative. I am adopted. He moved me and my sisters here soon after taking me in."

"So that means-"

"Natalia and Katyusha are not related to me by blood. But they are sisters nonetheless." Alfred didn't know why he did, but he reached across the table and took Ivan's hand in his.

"I'm sorry for asking."

"Don't be." He sighed. He felt terrible for bringing it up. He would have never guessed that Ivan was adopted. He looked so much like his sisters. Even the old man looked a bit like him.

"I still feel bad. You already know that I'm adopted. Two dads after all." He giggled at the end. Everyone knew his parents were gay. They just didn't know about him and his brothers preferences. Alfred liked to think of himself as bisexual, while his brother, Mathew, claimed to be strictly homosexual.

"Ah yes. Francis used to hug me a bit to affectionately. Then Arthur would smack him." Ivan grinned at him. Then asked the golden question.

"What is your orientation? If you don't mind me asking?"

"I like both. I've had a few girlfriends, but never a boyfriend." He then looked Ivan right in the eye. "What about you?"

"I prefer boys." Alfred stared.

"I didn't take you as gay." Ivan laughed.

"Neither did I. Until I developed a bit of a crush last year. But he transferred to another school." It was said so easily, and Alfred envied his confidence. It wasn't a small thing to come out like tha- "Just make sure my Grandfather doesn't find out."

"He doesn't approve?"

"Who really does? You see the people who say that they don't care yet they complain about the flamboyant gay boy in gym, or the creepy lesbian in math. You can't really accept it unless you are."

"Do your sisters know?" Ivan shook his head.

"Katyusha would not care, but I haven't worked up the courage to tell her. Natalia wouldn't mind either. My Grandfather would most likely disown me."

"Well if that happens... I suppose you could come to my house. My parents wouldn't care."

"But would you?" It was a good question. Even with the calm air around them and the deep confessions, Alfred still had that spark of resistance to a friendship with the Russian. Could he tolerate living with him?

"Yeah I guess. As long as you didn't try to turn me into a communist or something." He added a small smile when the Russian gave a laugh.

"I assume your research led to that."

"Maybe. What are some interesting facts you came up with?" Ivan slid his paper over to him so he could see. It seemed that the Russians went through worse stuff. God, communism sucked.

"Man... Alright no more communist jokes. Promise."

"Well, I could call you a Capitalist pig but I suppose I'll hold off as well." Alfred smiled warmly, straightening his papers and closing his laptop.

"Nice to see we're being mature adults. You see, I almost thought you'd pick on me or be a douche." The back door opened again. But instead of seeing Ivan's grandfather he saw Katyusha. A bright grin lit up her face when she saw Alfred, and he smiled back.

"Oh, hello Alfred! I haven't seen you around!" She then turned to her brother, ruffling his hair softly. "How are you feeling, Ivan?"

"I am fine."

"Well I just got a call from Mr. Kirkland. They need Alfred to head home." Alfred's head snapped up. His parents never did this unless...

He grabbed his things and threw them into his bag hastily.

"Let me know when another time will be good for you. Thanks for having me over." He waved before heading out the side gate and his hurried walk turned into a full sprint as he hit the sidewalk.

OoooooooO

"What happened?!" Alfred called as he crashed into his home. His bag was left by the door, which was slightly ajar. Francis came first, looking frightened.

"Alfred-"

"Is it Mattie? What's wrong you have to tell me!" Arthur showed up second, looking strangely calm. Which meant he was pissed, or shocked.

"Alfred we need to talk." Arthur held up a familiar shoe box that Alfred had been very careful to hide. Which meant his fathers had deliberately searched his room.

"I'm not talking about it. I'm taking a shower and then I'm going to bed. I don't care what you do with those but I have more." He saw Francis tear up.

"You think we went looking. Mathew told us. We love you so much. Why would you do this?" Alfred walked away, making sure to slam his door when he got to it.

OooooooO

-Flashback-

Alfred needed to hurry. He had to be at Ivan's in an fifteen minutes and it just wouldn't stop!

"I shouldn't have done it this close to leaving..." Alfred placed the blade back in the box, careful not to make too much noise. The last thing he needed was for one of his family members to hear and wonder what was going on. He pressed the gauze back down against his arm, trying to stop the bleeding.

Someone knocked on the door.

"Don't come in!"

"Oh sorry..." He allowed a sliver of relief at the voice belonging to his brother. Alfred stood, pulling down his sleeve to hold down the gauze. He then cracked the door open a bit to look at his twin. "I'll be out in a second, Matt."

"You're doing it again. Aren't you?" Alfred stared at his brother.

"Mattie... You have to understand-"

"There's nothing to understand. You're hurting yourself. Leaving scars on your wrists and arms for what? I hate seeing them. Our parents might not notice but I do. Why do you do it? Why won't you stop cutting, Alfred?" He sighed and beckoned his brother into the bathroom after him. His twin shut the door behind him and leaned against it.

"I do it because I deserve it." Mathew's eyes widened.

"No you don't! Why would you think something like that?"

"Don't you get it? I'm falling apart Mattie! I don't know who I am anymore! And somehow, I deserve it. I fucked things up between me and Ivan, I put you in the middle of us when you wanted to be friends with him, all I do is fight with dad. I deserve to pay for it. And besides," he pulled up his sleeve to move the gauze. "I can bleed out the pain when I do this. It hurts... But it hurts worse to hold it in. Part of the punishment I suppose." He closed the box and picked it up, pushing his brother out of his way gently and hurrying to his room.

What he didn't see was his brother watching him put his box away in its secret spot.

OooooooO

Okay so big chapter, lots of information. And yes it moved fast for a beginning but for a reason. As you can see, Alfred and Ivan are both having some problems. I decided to write about them because of my experience with them.

Translations:

Russian:

Да: Yes

So I will try to update soon. I have some tests coming up so maybe a few weeks at the most? Hopefully I can get a chapter out before then!

Until next time my lovelies,

MapleSunflower


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